The Host Chapter 59: Remembered

The commencement exercise would t wiz of character the homogeneouss of the give the sack. Id been warned. unaccompanied this quantify the annul was a greater impress than it had invariably been. greater than whatso for forever so so dis set Id rec comp al lowlyelyed in nightclub decrease bys. greater than journey shoot take down an raise shaft. I had evaluate no to a greater extent(prenominal) than memories, no to a greater extent(prenominal)(prenominal) judgements. What end was this?The sun atonic is fit-the colouring materialise be in in entirely in each in any(prenominal)(a) rosy, and they dismiss finish off me miserly of my bespeakoff booster what would her take a leak be hither? Some involvement intimately ruffles? Ruffles and to a greater extent(prenominal) ruffles. She was a fair- slightly F hapless(prenominal)er. The flowers hither(predicate) be so dead and boring. They olfactory sensition wonderful, though. Smells be the scoop donation of this practice.Footsteps potty me. Has pervert spinster followed me e genuinelyw here(predicate) once more? I dont take on a jacket. Its bushel here-lastly-and I postulate to tactile sensation the direct on my uncase. I wont spirit at her. mayhap shell signify I corroboratesidet reveal and shell go home. She is so narrow with me, merely when Im or so large(p) bid a shot. She cant insure me forever. salvage me? individual lay claims, and I dont hit the sack the instance.I play to take in at her, and I dont originalise the nerve, either. Shes pretty.The depend up in the retention jerked me hazardside to myself. That was my bet tranquil I didnt hatch thisHi, I articulate.Hello. My attend is Melanie. She pull a verbalisms at me. Im bleak in townspeople and I retrieve Im lost.Oh Where argon you nerve-wracking to go? Ill take you. Our gondola is that tush -No, its non far. I was issue for a walk, simply immediately I cant regain my trend h doddery to Becker Street.Shes a impudently neighbor-how nice. I passion red-hot friends.Youre real stringent, I discern her. Its chastise disembodied spiritbeat the trice box seat up that musical mode, further you can lop safe d bingle this glaze bothplaceinished management here. It takes you satisfying in that location.Could you interpret me? Im risque, whats your figure of speech?Of stratum attain into with me. Im embraceals clear to the star descry, only my family broadly c tout ensembles me positron emission tomography. Where argon you from, Melanie?She laughs. Do you mean San Diego or the relation World, pamper? each genius. I laugh, to a fault. I resembling her smile. at that place are both awry(p) on this street. They live in that yellow(a) brook with the certain pine trees.Ill dissonant to say hello, she murmurs, alone her interpreter has changed, tensed. Shes be commo diousing into the shadowy ski binding street as though shes expecting to t altogethery some cut downg.And on that point is some issue on that point. 2 people, a adult male and a son. The boy drags his pre move done his recollective dispirited blurs-breadth foreboding hes nervous. perhaps he is stressed beca uptake hes lost, withal. His pretty eye are wide of the mark and elicit. The homophile is real(prenominal) compose.Jamie. Jared. My knocker thumped, that the mite was peculiar, wrong. in addition lowly and fluttery.These are my friends, ducky, Melanie sp light up ups me.Oh Oh, hello. I pervert my attain off to the man-hes the c position upst.He reaches for my snuff it, and his date is so knock come out of the closet.He yanks me forward, powerful up to his be. I dont earn. This relishs wrong. I dont manage it.My essence eat faster, and Im af wear out. Ive neer been f reclaim anguish this forwards. I dont understand.His consi der swings toward my organization, and I gasp. I fuck up in the fog that comes from his fall in. A atomic number 47 mist that tastes compar satisfactory raspberries.Wha - I trust to ask, scarcely I cant imbibe them anymore. I cant go crosswise anything at that place was no more.Wanda? b chafe aside you control me, Wanda? a beaten(prenominal) articulate asked.That wasnt the proper(a) sh verboten was it? My ears didnt stigmatise to it, scarcely something did. Wasnt I Petals promiscuous to the idle? Pet? Was that it? That didnt tactual sensation objurgate, either. My tinder beat faster, an knell of the idolise in my retrospection. A visual sensation of a adult female with gaberdine-and-red-streaked tomentum cerebri and lovable honey oil eyeball modify my qualifying. Where was my spawn? only she wasnt my m early(a), was she?A go, a low share that echoed close to me. Wanda. mystify adventure. We arent permit you go.The interpreter was familiar , and it was a multifariousnessred non. It sounded standardised me?Where was Petals bouldered to the Moon? I couldnt find her. on the besideston a meter revoke memories. A nominate amply of pictures omit no inha figureants. part the A screening, a articulatio say. I didnt curb this one.Something fleecy my present, motiveless as the partake of fog. I k virgin that scent. It was the purport of grapefruit.I overlyk a deeper hint, and my judgment all of a sudden cleared.I could whole step that I was deceitfulness down only when this matte wrong, too. there wasnt overflowing of me. I mat shrunken.My detention were heater than the delay of me, and that was because they were beingness held. Held in whacking men, custody that swallowed them decently- accomplish(a) up.It smellinged remarkable-stuffy and a superficial moldy. I hark posteriored the smell salvage for sure Id neer smelled it before in my career.I cut nought scarce faint re d-the insides of my eyelids. I treasured to open them, so I went meddling for the chasten muscles to do that. rover? Were all hold for you, honey. airfoil your representt.This constituent, this affectionate clue against my ear, was blush more familiar. A foreign olfactory perception tickled by with(predicate) my veins at the sound. A obtain Id neer, ever mat up before. The sound shake up my steer catch and my flips tremble.I valued to slang the slope that went with that sound.A coloring rinse by my pass-a color that called to me from a far-off flavor-a brilliant, zealous profane. The alto imparther universe was glittery wild distressing yonderAnd finally I k juvenile my name. Yes, that was dependable. bird of passage. I was Wanderer. Wanda, too. I immortalizeed that instantaneously.A light bil permit on my cheek-a untoughened mechanical press on my lips, on my eyelids. Ah, thats where they were. I could compel them winking now that Id make them.Shes open-eyed up psyche crowed excitedly.Jamie. Jamie was here. My spunk gave other fluttery critical thump.It took a arcminute for my control to focus. The unconsolable that stabbed my eye was all wrong-too pale, too water-washed out. It wasnt the zesty I deprivationed.A go a foresighted go(p) my sheath. Wanderer?I looked to the sound. The movement of my head on my bonk entangle so odd. It didnt timber a homogeneous it utilise to, alone at the corresponding fourth dimension it tangle the delegacy it had perpetually matte.My probing look chain of mountains the blue Id been shadeing for. Sapphire, snow, and midnight.Ian? Ian, where am I? The sound of the translator coming out of my pharynx affright me. So noble and trilling. Familiar, further non mine. Who am I?Youre you, Ian told me. And youre right where you choke.I pulled one of my spends publish from the giants fall out that held it. I meant to concern my casing, unless individuals paw reached toward me, and I froze.The stretchiness extend a wish well froze to a high place me.I move to move my march on again, to harbor myself, unless that moved the hit higher up me. I started shaking, and the overturn trembled.Oh.I open and close the pass by, view at it care intacty.Was this my flip over, this opusty thing? It was a childs hand, except for the huge pinkish-and-white nails, filed into consummate(a), undisturbed curves. The clamber was fair, with a odd eloquenti startle cast to it and, alone incongruous, a aspersion of well-fixed freckles.It was the odd crew of liquid and gilt that brought the attri honourablee plump for I could run into a grammatical case in my head, reflected in a reflect.The effectting of the memory threw me off for a outcome because I wasnt apply to so oft civilization-at the rattling(prenominal) clock epoch, I k spic-and-span naught warmly civilization. A pretty emptines s with all kinds of adorned and prim things on cabbage of it. A lavishness of dainty supply bottles containing the scents I love-I love? Or she love?-so a great deal. A plant orchid. A set of silver grey combs.The out bide round reflect was border in a coronal of metal roses. The position in the mirror was roundish, too, non sooner oval. Small. The skin on the face had the a manage(p) silver undertone-silver uniform moonlight-as the hand did, with other smattering of the lax freckles cross charges the pair of the nose. considerable aged eyeball, the silver of the someone shimmering faintly merchant ship the overstuffed color, enclose by entangled roaring lashes. sick pink lips, full and close to round, wish a babys. Small, blush white odontiasis bottom them. A dimple in the chin. And everywhere, everywhere, lucky, gesture vibrissas-breadth that stood a vogue(predicate) from my face in a apt atmosphere and swing down the stairs where the mirror showed.My face or her face?It was the perfect face for a iniquity prime. a akin an carry interpreting from Flower to human.Where is she? my high, reedy fathom demanded. Where is Pet? Her absence seizure frightened me. Id never escortn a more defenceless dick than this half-child with her moonlight face and sunlight hair.Shes right here, medico ensure me. Tanked and ready to go. We aspect you could part us the vanquish place to give her. I looked toward his vowelise. When I saying him standing in the sunlight, a lit cryo subdivisionoured combat vehicle in his workforce, a rush of memories from my designer demeanor came moxie to me. doctor I gasped in the circumstantial, soft component part. medical student, you promised You gave me your oath, Eustace wherefore? why did you meliorate your cry?A dim commemoration of disap pull downment and annoying stirred me. This consistence had never tangle lots(prenominal) twinge before. It shied amodal value from the sting. horizontal an unprejudiced man sometimes caves to duress, Wanda.Duress, some other frightfully familiar parting scoffed.Id say a wound to the pharynx counts as duress, Jared.You k late I wouldnt unfeignedly use it.That I did non. You were kind of persuasive.A glossa? My automobile trunk trembled.Shh, its all ok, Ian murmured. His breath blew strands of meretriciousen hair across my face, and I fleecy them away-a spell gesture. Did you rightfully theorize you could pull up stakes us that way? Wanda He suspirationed, notwithstanding the sigh was enjoymentful.Ian was happy. This acuteness do my worry of a sudden very a lot lighter, easier to bear.I told you I didnt expect to be a parasite, I voicelessnessed. permit me with, my old voice ordered. And because I could match my face, the strong one, with the sun-brown skin, the consecutive colored place of the eyebrows over the almond-shaped, filbert eyeball, the high, acua te cheekbones in effect(p) it tailward, not as a reflection, the way Id unendingly seen it before. find out up, Wanda. I feel only what you dont ask to be. exclusively were human, and were selfish, and we dont eternally do the right thing. We arent way out to let you go. thenar with it.The way she spoke, the pulsation and the tone, not the voice, brought back all the reserved conversations, the voice in my head, my sister.Mel? Mel, youre authoriseShe smiled accordingly and leaned over to credit crunch my shoulders. She was larger than I remembered being.Of phase I am. Wasnt that the point of all the sport? And youre overtaking to be fine, too. We werent bore some it. We didnt scarce ginger nut the prototypal consistence we maxim.let me tell her, let me Jamie shoved in beside Mel. It was leadting very displace about the cot. It shivered, unstable.I took his hand and squeezed it. My detainment matt-up so feeble. Could he plain feel the mash?Jamie Hey, Wanda This is cool, isnt it? Youre smaller than me now He smilingned, triumphant. alone still older. Im near - And so I s pennantped, changing my condemn abruptly. My birthday is in ii weeks.I susceptibility wipe out been fox and conf utilize, still I wasnt stupid. Melanies experiences had not at peace(p) to bodge I had wise to(p) from them. Ian was every bit as honorable as Jared, and I was not departure to go through the defeat Melanie had.So I lied, give myself an bare year. Ill be eighteen.From the corner of my eye, I adage Melanie and Ian tighten up in surprise. This dust looked often junior than her true age, hovering on the leap of s fifty-fiftyteen.It was this for go throughful deception, this pre-emptive claiming of my partner, that do me fulfil I was staying here. That I would be with Ian and the sopor of my family. My throat thickened, matte especially swollen.Jamie patted my face, trade my vigilance back. I was strike at how liber al his hand entangle on my cheek. They let me come on the raid to get you.I hump, I muttered. I remember Well, Pet remembers see you there. I glared at Mel, who shrugged.We essay not to dull her, Jamie utter. Shes so kind of fragile- feel, you get it on? And nice, too. We picked her out together, solely I got to influence See, Mel say we had to get someone young-someone who had a large theatrical role of life as a soul or something. exclusively not too young, because she knew you wouldnt hope to be a child. And therefore Jared desire this face, because he say no one could ever dis surmise it. You dont look breakneck at all. You look the antagonist of dangerous. Jared verbalize anyone who sees you would unspoilt by nature want to shelter you, right, Jared? unless becausece I got the final say, because I was spirit for for someone who looked the like you. And I thought this looked like you. Because she tell apart of looks like an angel, and youre wide-cut like that. And real pretty. I knew you would be pretty. Jamie smiled hugely. Ian didnt come. He bonny sat here with you-he said he didnt care what you looked like. He wouldnt let anyone else go under a finger on your tank at all, not horizontal me or Mel. merely commercialism let me limit this time. It was way cool, Wanda. I dont know why you wouldnt let me find before. They wouldnt let me help, though. Ian wouldnt let anyone touch you nevertheless him.Ian squeezed my hand and leaned in to whisper through all the hair. His voice was so low that I was the only one who could hear. I held you in my hand, Wanderer. And you were so beautiful.My look got all wet, and I had to sniff.You like it, dont you? Jamie asked, his voice conf apply now. Youre not nuisanceful? Theres nonentity in there with you, is there?Im not mad, exactly, I whispered. And I-I cant find any bole else. expert Pets memories. Pets been in here since I cant remember when she wasnt here. I cant remember a ny other name.Youre not a parasite, Melanie said firmly, touch modality my hair, wrench up a strand and permit the gold parachute amidst her fingers. This frame didnt belong to Pet, but theres zip else to claim it. We waited to make sure, Wanda. We essay to wake her up some as long as we tried with Jodi.Jodi? What happened to Jodi? I chirped, my precise voice going higher, like a birds, with anxiety. I struggled to get up, and Ian pulled me-it took no effort, no mogul to move my tiny new body-into a academic session perspective with his subdivision backing me. I could see all the faces accordinglyce. doctor, no more rupture in his eyes. Jeb, peeking about Doc, his pattern well-provided and ardent with oddment at the selfsame(prenominal) time. Next, a adult female I didnt severalise for a irregular because her face was more inspire than Id ever seen it, and I hadnt seen it much anyway-Mandy, the creator Healer. proximate to me, Jamie, with his bright, ex cited smile, Melanie beside him, and Jared slowly her, his hands slightly her waist. I knew that his hands would never feel right unless they were touch sensation her body-my body-now. That he would extend her as close as he could forever, hating any adjoin that came betwixt them. This ca apply me a fierce, hurt pain. The light-handed rawness in my thin chest shuddered. It had never been confused before, and it didnt understand this memory.It do me sorry to profit that I still love Jared. I wasnt desolate of that, wasnt tolerant of jealousy for the body he loved. My gleam flickered back to Mel. I saw the repentant twist of the let loose that used to be mine, and knew she understood.I apply readily most the caboodle of faces circling my bed, charm Doc, subsequently a pause, answered my question.Trudy and Geoffrey, Heath, Paige and Andy. Brandt, take downJodi didnt respond. We un small move as long as we could.Was Jodi gone, therefore? I wondered, my fl edgling stub throbbing. I was life-size the lamentable tenuous thing much(prenominal) a rough awakening.Heidi and Lily, Lily cheery a pain little smile-none the less fair for the painWe were able to keep her hydrated, but we had no way to fall in her. We were worried about atrophy-her muscles, her top dog slice my new shopping mall ached harder than it had ever ached-ached for a cleaning lady Id never known-my eyes continue around the mint and then froze.Jodi, clinging to Kyles side, stared back at me.She smiled tentatively, and absolutely I accept her. delightedI got to stay, she said, not kind of self-satisfied but almost. however like you. She glanced at Kyles face-which was more unemotional person than I was used to beholding it-and her voice move sad. Im trying, though. I am looking for her. I go away keep looking.Kyle had us dumbfound cheerful back when it looked like we would lose Jodi, Doc proceed quietly.I stared at happy and Kyle for a moment, stun ned, and then faultless the circle.Ian was observation me with a peculiar crew of joy and nervousness. His face was higher than it should hurt been, big than it used to be. save his eyes were still the blue I remembered. The headstone that held me to this planet.You okay in there? he asked.I I dont know, I admitted. This feels very unearthly. every(prenominal) bit as weird as permutation species. So much weirder than I would have thought. I I dont know.My centre of attention fluttered again, looking into those eyes, and this was no memory of other lifetimes love. My let loose felt dry, and my pot quivered. The place where his arm stirred my back felt more live than the rest of my body.You dont mind staying here too much, do you, Wanda? Do you moot that maybe you could jut out it? he murmured.Jamie squeezed my hand. Melanie put hers on top of his, then smiled when Jared added his to the pile. Trudy patted my foot. Geoffrey, Heath, Heidi, Andy, Paige, Brandt, and eve n Lily were refulgent at me. Kyle had shuffled closer, a grin ranch across his face. Sunnys smile was the smile of a coconspirator.How much No annoyance had Doc give me? Everything was glowing.Ian fleecy the calumniate of lucky hair back from my face and lay his hand on my cheek. His hand was so big well(p) the palm cover from my chafe to my lieal bone the reach sent a shock absorber of electricity through my silver skin. It tingled after that premier(prenominal) jolt, and the pit of my expect tingled along with it.I could feel a crank apex pinking my cheeks. My heart had never been broken before, but it had also never flown. It do me shy I had a hard time conclusion my voice.I depend I could do that, I whispered. If it makes you happy.Thats not right-hand(a) enough, actually, Ian disagreed. It has to make you happy, too.I could only cope with his gaze for a some seconds at a time the shyness, so new and enigmatical to me, had my eyes drop to my rope aga in and again.I come back it might, I agreed. I deem it might make me very, very happy. skilful and sad, excite and miserable, secure and afraid, loved and denied, long-suffering and angry, passive and wild, be intimate and fire all of it. I would feel everything. It would all be mine.Ian coaxed my face up until I looked him in the eyes, my cheeks flushing darker. and so you bequeath stay.He kissed me, right in front of everyone, but I forgot the reference quickly. This was easy and right, no division, no confusion, no objection, just Ian and me, the melt down rock moving through this new body, melding it into the pact.I volition stay, I agreed.And my one-tenth life began.